Some News!

Ever have a problem that you can't wrap your head around, and that no matter how hard you think about it, you can't make any progress? You know that irony when you finally stop thinking about it, and suddenly the answer comes to you? That's pretty much how things seem to be working for me on this hip thing.  I finally accepted that I can't do anything to rush the process and I will just make the best of the time I've got during this waiting process, and I got a call from Dr. Philippon's office yesterday!

I can't remember the name of the guy I spoke to, mainly because I was so excited to hear from them at all that I don't think my brain was working at it's normal capacity. But he was nice, patient and explained a lot. He confirmed that my MRIs showed both a labral tear and mixed-FAI. 

But best of all, he asked me all sorts of really good questions that showed that he (or someone there) had read my incredibly long narrative of all of the information I thought that they should know about my medical health in general and the discovery and development of the hip pain. They asked me questions that showed that they were not just looking to jump in and fix the hip, but wanted to ensure that nothing else could be causing the pain, or that my other medications and/or complications from PCOS could be contributing factors. It showed me that they're looking at the body more as a system, than as a butcher might. It gave me some confidence.  It also gave me a little more confidence in my local surgeon's diagnosis.

 As I expected, however, it looks like the process is a slow one. And there are still no guarantees they'll ultimately operate on me. They asked me if I had gotten any injections (to isolate whether the pain is actually in the hip or if it's pain in the lower back that I feel in the butt, etc.). I haven't. I don't know if they'll want me to do that. They also indicated that, since they're backed up scheduling wise and are already into 2011, I'll need to have another MRI closer to the date of the appointment (whenever that'll be). That actually makes me feel better -- I don't want them to be surprised if they cut me open. 

But 2011 -- that's not particularly quick. And I won't even speak with the scheduling person to book a surgery date until approx 2 weeks from now (which I am just going to assume will be closer to a month). So I am guessing that realistically, they wouldn't be able to do the surgery before Feb/March next year.  The guy I spoke with explained that they're very busy -- they get 150 requests per month from people like me, asking for a review of films, etc., and Dr. Philippon does approx 40 of these surgeries per month. Seriously, I don't know how those numbers add up. Does the man sleep? Are there enough hours in a day? And I thought I had a busy schedule!

They're going to look into whether there's any local surgeons that they feel comfortable recommending to me in case things get worse quickly and I don't want to wait. And I still have an appointment with another local surgeon I found on my own. 

But in the meantime, I feel pretty good. Not much has changed between Monday and today, and, in some ways, my life has gained a new level of uncertainty. But I feel good. I don't know why. Peaceful. Like I've gained some acceptance finally. I trust that I'll take the time I need to take to make the right decision for me. And the result is beyond my control and even beyond the complete control of a surgeon. But if I give myself a half a year before surgery, I have the gift of time, which may ultimately be a blessing in disguise.

I'll have time to really research everything and be as knowledgeable as I can. That should help me go into surgery with confidence, which necessarily will help me recover. I'll have 6 months to lose weight. For sure that will help me recover faster. Think of all of that extra weight that I won't have to feel pounding down on my hip joint. I'll have 6 months to save money -- which it seems I'll need a lot of if insurance becomes problematic. I'll get to plan ahead work-wise, and not spring a long recovery on my bosses. And I get to be as mobile and healthy as I can be. 

Yes, I'm still in pain. A lot of it.  But I'm finding ways to live with the pain. No -- I really don't want to live like this permanently. I really want the surgery. But I think I can manage for 6 or so months. I went swimming today during lunch. It was only 20 minutes and I used a pull buoy so I didn't kick with my legs. But I really felt great and it's the first real cardio I've done in a while that I haven't finished in more pain than I started with.  Though my arms may be yelling at me tomorrow! I had purchased a waterproof ipod shuffle case/headphones from H2O Audio, and it worked like a charm. That made swimming laps a lot more fun for me. (I don't know why, but I just don't find swimming particularly fun). But it's exercise, and I'll take it! 

And who knows -- after swimming for 6 months, and biking during recovery and ultimately running again, maybe in a few years I'll end up doing something I thought I'd never be able to do -- a triathlon!

 I believe that we humans are given such amazing gifts, including the ability to choose how we perceive the world around us. We can choose to view a challenge as a roadblock or an opportunity. We have each other for compassion and support. We can focus on what we wish were different, or make the most of what we've got. 

So maybe the only real thing that changed in the past 72 hours is the way I've begun to view the situation. I truly don't have any more answers. But I have a measure of peace.