A glimpse of the other side

I tried something new this morning -- Gyrotonics. What is that? According to the Gyrotonic Health Network website, it "is an exercise modality that guides users to simultaneously stretch and strengthen muscles and tendons while also articulating and mobilizing the joints. Corresponding breathing patterns are engaged during the performance of the exercises, thereby increasing coordination, endurance and aerobic activity." (http://www.gyrotonic.com/index.aspx)


It was similar to Pilates in some ways, isolating areas of the body and moving from the core. But it was also very different -- a larger potential plane of motion, stretching in different ways and really opening the joints. I left the studio feeling like I haven't felt in a year. On a scale from 0 to 10, 10 being excruciating blinding pain and 0 being completely pain-free, I was a 0. WOW. Being at a 0 was strange. I've grown so accustomed to a general uncomfortable throbbing in my hip/leg that what I've come to believe is a general 2-3 has gradually become my 0-1. But this feeling was a true 0. I had literally forgotten what being pain-free felt like. And oh my, it was bliss.

I use the past tense intentionally. Leaving bliss behind, putting on heals, sitting at a desk, the general dull throbbing returned within an hour and a half.  The good news is that my dull throbbing isn't as bad as it normally is. So that's improvement, I guess. But I am already looking forward to my next session and curious whether I can re-harness that amazing feeling.

During the week, I attended a new yoga class. It was a combination of gentle yoga (i.e., lots of stretching) and basic yoga (basic postures, but still challenging for a newbie like me). It was a great class for me and I'm getting more comfortable doing my own thing when I need to. I'm listening to my body and respecting it more so when the teacher had us move in a way that I thought would aggravate my hip pain, I either modified or continued doing what was feeling good until the teacher moved on. After class, I asked the instructor for her suggestions on stretches for the IT band and piriformis and she gave me some that I really felt. Glad I stuck around and asked.

I don't know if my eagerness to heal myself without surgery is smart or simply a doomed attempt at self-delusion and denial. Ultimately, I wonder if it matters. Were I to have the surgery, wouldn't I still have all these other muscular imbalances and issues to deal with at that point?

Whatever I can do

I saw Dr. Klapper for a follow-up on Tuesday and the long and short of it is that there is some moderate improvement in the right hip and the left hip is more problematic. I'm going to keep up with the physical therapy and see whether I still have pain in another 6-8 weeks. If I still do, he recommends surgery and if not, then no worries. He said there's a possibility that some tears form something of a callus and so it would be possible to have something of an irregularity without pain. He doesn't think that you need to necessarily operate simply because there's an irregularity on an MRI or X-ray.

I don't know what to make of that.

I described to him the pain I had following Pilates last time, and he explained that it's not the hip that is causing the pain, but the surrounding musculature and weakness. So I asked him if I could do Pilates and/or Yoga, and he gave me the answer that I can do it as long as it doesn't hurt. Okaaaaaaaaaaaay.

So I went back to Mind2Body today and worked with the owner, Lani. She identified a bunch of ways in which I was unintentionally compensating for weak muscles by overworking the stronger ones, and was so good at explaining ways to isolate the ones that I need to strengthen. As a runner (or should I say former runner -- booo), I was particularly fascinated by the weakness in the inner foot and big toe area. I'm so used to putting the pressure on the outside of my feet from the way I pronate, and it's amazing how that has made my inner feet weak. I managed to get through the entire hour without pain, and I am hoping to get through the rest of the day in such a way. But the thing I found most interesting is that I think, despite my best efforts, that I'm compensating improperly in some of my water exercises. It's hard to tell because nobody is there watching me contract each muscle specifically. Some of the Pilates exercises seemed like the pool therapy exercises (but on land, of course). I would love to do both because I think they compliment each other and that by getting better at one, I'll necessarily get stronger and improve my form in the other.

I had a massage last night, which was really helpful to loosen the areas also. My massage therapist suggested that I get regular deep tissue massages (I'd love to if they lowered their prices, lol), and to try rubbing certain essential oils into the hip/thigh area. She also suggested that I try acupuncture. Her other suggestion was to sit on a tennis ball where the butt and leg meet to send blood to the area and to loosen up that area.

In light of all of this, I got very excited and a renewed sense of optimism that I may be able to forego surgery. After all, it seems like even if they fix the joint, I'm still going to have to deal with all this residual weakness and imbalances. But my husband brought me back down to reality with the simple, "it's all necessary, but it may just be postponing the inevitable...you may still ultimately need to have the surgery to correct the joint." Maybe, but either way, I want to do EVERYTHING I can do to strengthen and heal on my own first. No regrets.

I saw one of those inspirational questions the other day that asked if you could change one thing about your life, what would it be. I would normally answer that question "lose weight" but I realized something was different when that no longer felt like the honest answer. I AM losing weight (approx 13 pounds so far). I still have a way to go. But my new answer to that question is "heal my hips." I want this done and far behind me. Is that too much to ask?

Experiment - Part 2

So it's been 24 hours since my Pilates experiment. Drumroll please.....the result is that I am not sure if I can do it or not. I know, pretty anticlimactic. Basically, my sciatica (I think that's the muscle in my butt that was spasm-ing but I'm not sure) bothered me off and on for the remainder of the day. I rolled it out with a foam roller in the evening, and that helped somewhat, and I iced it twice, which also may have helped. This morning I woke without that pain (though the other side hurt a bit). So I don't know.

Could it have been triggered by the Pilates? Absolutely. Could it have been something else? Sure. Am I scared and did I go into the typical worry-cycle assuming the worst? Of course. Will I give Pilates another chance? Yes, but I'll ease into it...I'll keep up with my physical therapy and take one day at a time. And I'll wait a week before attempting Pilates again.

I wish this were easier and that there were some guarantees. I guess there are some guarantees, though just not the kind I want. I'm guaranteed that if I go out and run, I'll be in pain. I'm guaranteed that if I don't move, my muscles will weaken. That seems to be the extent of my guarantees at the moment. That, taxes and eventually death. You know what? Maybe I'm not so keep on guarantees after all :-)

Experiment

I decided to try to ease back into Pilates today and see how that works. The jury's still out but it was an interesting experience, so I wanted to share. I returned to my favorite local Pilates studio, Mind 2 Body, for a private lesson with Jamie. I considered resuming my work with a mat class, but ultimately decided that due to my special needs (i.e., avoiding certain positions that will aggravate the hip joint and my labral tear), that I'd benefit from some personalized assistance.

We started with some mat work with some modifications on leg positioning (i.e., not as large of a leg circle, bent legs at 90 degrees instead of straight at 45 degrees) to ease me back into the swing of things. Everything felt good so we went to the Reformer machine, which, if you've never seen one, looks like an ancient torture structure. It's actually a piece of equipment that was designed by Joseph Pilates, however, inspired by the hospital beds he used for rehab. (Most of his designs appear to be based on things patients had in the hospital).  I started with some leg work, modified to avoid the positions I know would hurt the groin/hip area. Everything went really well, until about 10 minutes into it, after we had switched to some arm action, that I felt a sharp knot in my sciatica/rear. I am not an expert in anatomy, so I'm not sure what the actual muscle spasm was, but it was deep inside the middle of my butt cheek.

So I alerted Jamie about the pain, and we stopped, I stretched, and when that didn't really help, we abandoned the reformer temporarily and did some exercises on another piece of equipment -- the Cadillac. A lot of rolling out the spine and stretching the legs. That seemed to help. The pain didn't disappear, but became much less prominent.

We finished up some work on the reformer on the short box (ab work) and ended with some work against the wall where I had to move my arms, but had to keep my back completely glued to the wall. Not easy.

So I'm still waiting on my body's verdict. I didn't experience any of the actual hip joint pain, which is thrilling. We'll see if it shows up later today though. I'm holding my breath a bit. I'm concerned about the butt pain I did experience, and am currently sitting atop of an ice pack to help prevent inflammation. I won't schedule another session until I'm confident that I can do this without aggravating the hip. But I'm hopeful. I think muscle pain is treatable, and maybe I'm just in need of strengthening a new under-utilized area. We shall see!