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I've been diagnosed with a small labral tear and mixed Femoroacetabular Impingement (FAI) in my right hip. This blog follows my efforts to do something about it.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

A New Beginning

It's been a while since I updated this blog, but since so much has happened, I've been feeling the urge to resume.

The big news in my life is that I'm pregnant -- 14.5 weeks along! I feel so unbelievably blessed that, even with my PCOS, I was able to get pregnant at all, let alone so quickly. I think by most calculations, I've completed the first trimester, and believe me, it wasn't all pretty. After my 12-week ultrasound, Noah and I had a huge scare when I started bleeding profusely. Thank God that it was a subchorionic hemorrhage and not a miscarry, like we thought. So, in my case, that means that there's a small separation between a part of the placenta and the uterine wall which was the source of the bleeding. There's really nothing they can do about it, but wait and hope that it goes away on its own. If it gets larger, it could be really problematic, but for now, thankfully, it does not appear to be affecting the baby at all. Out of caution, my doctor has placed me on "modified" bed-rest (i.e., no exercise, no lifting anything heavier than my purse, no stairs, lots of sitting...)


I'm actually really surprised how frustrating I'm finding the no-exercise restriction. It's not like I'm feeling up to rigorous activity anyway, but still, I miss being able to walk the dogs around the block and enjoy the amazing weather we've been having. And I'm unable to continue with Gyrotonic right now, which has been making my hip a bit tighter. The good news is that I haven't had any real hip pain in months. The bad news is that this is the least active I've been in months, and I'm feeling the whole area tighten, so I'm concerned that the hip pain is right around the corner. I'm considering getting a massage to help open the area. I assume that will be okay, but I'll check with the doctor just to make sure.

Emotionally, I'm in a constant state of flux. I could blame the hormones, but I think part of it is just normal me. One moment I'll be on cloud 9, daydreaming about everything and anything. Then the next moment, I'll remind myself that there's no guarantees, and all of my plans and joy could be erased as easily as a bad car accident or earthquake. Instead of living in a constant state of worry, which I could easily do, I'm trying to keep perspective and faith that it's not my job to control all of that. My job is just to do the best I can to make my body a healthy, good host to this miracle, and to prepare myself for the next steps.

So, just as I couldn't control everything hip-wise, I'm constantly re-learning the same lessons. I'm not in control over life -- my own, my baby's, my family's...I know this. Why is it so hard for me to accept it and to stop trying to micromanage?

1 comment:

  1. Oh my gosh! I can't believe how big the baby is getting!! What a cute little head! I think all those feelings are totally normal. You're going to be an amazing mom. =)

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